Friday, July 18, 2008

20 baby Products that will traumatize your kid.

Cracked put out this great list of bad baby gadgets, you can click the link for the whole site, I did pick out a few of my favorites for you , enjoy!

Baby Keeper

This is a dangerous idea. Not because it looks unstable or poorly constructed, but because its utility is too seductive.

Once the parent realizes how freeing this is, it will never stop with bathroom breaks. Want to vacuum? Slap that squirming bundle of modern art up on a closet door for a few minutes! Not enough room for the groceries and the child safety seat in the car? Use those hooks on the bumper and make an impromptu side car!

Man Boobs

From the instant any man dons this apparatus he can count on deeper bonding with his child, getting paid 25% less to do the same job as other men, and being grossly objectified for his sweet, sweet ass. On the flipside, he'll probably never have to buy his own drinks again.


Do you get to feed him carrots and hit him with a riding crop too, if so yes i will be ordering one of these.

Bucktooth Pacifier
In case you were wondering, Jaime and I already own one of these for the baby and we intend on using it, thanks Dad! I smell years of therapy in our kids future, just kidding!

Manual Snot Sucker

Here are two key points when using this product :

* Take the time to fully sterile the equipment before every use. You will also want to budget some time during use for letting the waves of nausea pass when you realize what you're collecting in that straw.

* When you feel pressure inserting the tube, stop promptly. If you notice the child cannot move the left side of its body when you apply suction, you've gone too far.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, the snot sucker made me gag a little...
    But I'm totally in on the Baby Coat rack! If only I knew about this when DiG was small...MUAHAHH!