Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Things I hate...

Hate is such a strong word, but you know what? sometimes I really just hate stuff. In honor of our regular "Things My boss says" I would like to institute the new regular blog posting: "Things I hate". These things will no doubly be mostly relate to the office but can include anything really, except people I know, famous people don't count, for instance: I hate Cher. Have you seen her hair lately, dear god woman just stop! But here's to my new column if you will, "Things I hate" edition #1.

Things I hate

1. I really hate when I get onto the elevator and the ghostly remnants of someone's perfume are still casually waiting in the elevator for me. I gag and wave my arms around to disperse the cologne of death but it refuses to leave. I can almost guarantee this cloud of noxious scent has been left there by some older, scratch that, ELDERLY woman from the second floor. Why don't you bathe instead of covering up your wrinkly stench with rose oil and witch hazel, is it too much to ask for you to take a shower? You probably have one of those shower seats anyway, making it very easy for you. Don't all old people wake up at four AM anyway, how about you use those five hours before work to clean your holes, but alas. It is never this way. I fear that one day I will board my awaiting elevator and the spirit of someone's white diamonds by Elizabeth Clayborne will come up behind me with it's scented claws of death and choke me out until I am no more. This, is why I hate people who wear too much perfume and take the elevator before me.

Until my next edition of "Things I hate."

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